a REMINDER to you...

Dear Bea,

Josh and I will always be here for you ;) I know what you're going thru and I know how much it hurts you. Just text me when you feel like sharing something. I will listen. I miss you. I am praying for you. Let's get together again - looking forward.

Love,

Ate Joy

CHUCK

"no matter where we go or what we do, as long as we're together, right?"

"love is a battle field"

"I'm emotional and that makes me a liability."

"You are everything I've ever wanted."

"I hate guns but it pays to know unusually."

"Families and friends make us vulnerable. They make us unable to pull the trigger."

"Sometimes it helps to know that you've got something to lose."

"It is another to betray your partner."

"I'll always come back for you."

"A heart is a complicated muscle."

"You need to be honest with the people you love."

"You're courage makes me very proud but there are some battles you have to walk away from."

"There's nothing more important than family."

"A relationship is built on trust,"

" If you're planning on hurting me, even to prove a point, I think you should know I have a very low threshold for pain."

"Sometimes, your dream job isn't always what you expect it to be."

"You're still Chuck. You're still my Chuck"

"meeting you always makes it worth it."

"when you meet somebody you care about, it's just so hard to walk away."

"I'm watching chuck disappear and the further he gets from who he is, the more I want to remember who I am."

Mere Christianity thoughts by C.S Lewis

"That is why the Christian is in a different position from other people who are trying to be good. They hope, by being good, to please God if there is one; or- if they think there is not- at least they hope to deserve approval from good men. But the Christian thinks any good he does comes from the Christ-life inside him. He does not think God will love us because we are good, but that God will make us good because He loves us;"

“In the passage where the New Testament says that every one must work, it gives as a reason ’in order that he may have something to give to those in need.’”

“If people do not believe in permanent marriage, it is perhaps better that they should live together unmarried than that they should make vows they do not mean to keep. It is true that by living together without marriage they will be guilty (in Christian eyes) of fornication. But one fault is not mended by adding another: unchastely is not improved by adding perjury.”


“…love is the great conqueror of lust.”

"Knowledge can last, principles can last, habits can last; but feelings come and go."

“As long as you are proud you cannot know God. A proud man is always looking down on things and people: and, of course, as long as you are looking down, you cannot see something that is above you.”

“For Pride is spiritual cancer: it eats up the very possibility of love, or contentment, or even common sense.”

“If you think you are not conceited, it means you are very conceited indeed.”

"When you are behaving as if you loved someone, you will presently come to love him.”

“But the great thing to remember is that, though our feelings come and go, His love for us does not."

“If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world.”

"Only those who try to resist temptation know how strong it is.”

“There would be no sense in saying you trusted a person if you would not take his advice."

"first faint gleam of Heaven is already inside you.”

“He shows much more of Himself to some people than to others - not because He has favorites, but because it is impossible for Him to show Himself to a man whose whole mind and character are in the wrong condition. Just as sunlight, though it has no favorites, cannot be reflected in a dusty mirror as clearly as in a clean one.”

“When Christ died, He died for you individually just as much as if you had been the only man in the world.”

“If you picture Time as a straight line along which we have to travel, then you must picture God as the whole page on which the line is drawn."

“Each time you fall He will pick you up again. And He knows perfectly well that your own efforts are never going to bring you anywhere near perfection.”

“The very first step is to try to forget about the self altogether."

"Give up yourself, and you will find your real self."

"Lose your life and you will save it."

"Keep back nothing."

"Look for yourself, and you will find in the long run only hatred, loneliness, despair, rage, ruin, and decay. But look for Christ and you will find Him, and with Him everything else thrown in."

Brandon Heath thoughts.

Cause the pain is real
But you will survive
That's how you know you're alive

Cause it's Okay Now, Hey Now
You can let go
That's when you
Find out, Find out
Everybody knows
That there just
Aint no, Aint no
Easier way out
I know it might not look that way
But You're gonna live to fight another day

Here's another chance
Take it while you can
Cause it sure wont last
Moves so fast
And it's gone again

breathe... again

Car is parked, bags are packed,
but what kind of heart doesn't look back
At the comfortable glow from the porch,
the one I will still call yours?
All those words came undone and now I'm not the only one
Facing the ghosts that decide if the fire inside still burns

All I have, all I need, he's the air I would kill to breathe
Holds my love in his hands, still I'm searching for something
Out of breath, I am left hoping someday I'll breathe again
I'll breathe again

Open up next to you and my secrets become your truth
And the distance between that was sheltering me comes in full view
Hang my head, break my heart built from all I have torn apart
And my burden to bear is a love I can't carry anymore

All I have, all I need, he's the air I would kill to breathe
Holds my love in his hands, still I'm searching for something
Out of breath, I am left hoping someday I'll breathe again

It hurts to be here
I only wanted love from you
It hurts to be here
What am I gonna do?

All I have, all I need, he's the air I would kill to breathe
Holds my love in his hands, still I'm searching
All I have, all I need, he's the air I would kill to breathe
Holds my love in his hands, still I'm searching for something
Out of breath, I am left hoping someday I'll breathe again
I'll breathe again

...

LESS OF ME

What I Learned

Mixing colors isn't easy, you have to try and try combining them until you get the best hue that suits for it.

When you're still a beginner(for painting stuff) you must first buy cheap materials for it.

Painting is really a good hobby to burst out your emotions.

Painting is never easy.

It's very fulfilling to see the finished product especially when you did it for more than four hours.

I need to practice more.

I do have a skill in painting, I just need to practice it.

Never limit yourself.

Never be a coward in trying something new.

Widen your capacity.

Improve.

something for dad

I made this last week. my FAVORITE snack as of the moment. and I just miss doing that. I call that.. uhm.. hungry breads =)) JK.
btw, I cooked that for my father dearest. be proud of me :D

another, Bestfriend

*Cringe
okay, hindi tayo talo. =))
I didn't shudder when I read this. you Just made me miss high school.

P.S
I am affirmed, seriously. No malice please.

Bestfriend.

You made my day, Man. I am amazed on how your neurons work. Nice memory, kiddo.

btw, You made me miss you a lot. A LOT.

Dear Blogger,

D'you think it's enough?


:(

CRAZY little thing called...

LOVE.
(K. silly title i know.)

So there you go. Crizzie, my friend way back in high school. We haven't seen each other for years then and because I'm home for a short vacation, I planned an overnight for us. I invited her to come over our house. I was very happy when she accepted my invitation since Quality TIME is my love language.

I remember, we became closed friends when we were in our third year. We clash not because we are total opposites but because we have lots in common. We love talking about our beliefs since we have same belief. We love talking about how great God is, about our ministries, (we were both involved in the ministry of our own churches) and about our church friends. She is one of the people I loved talking to before.

VAIN. yes, we are undeniably VAIN. We love taking pictures of ourselves. I have a cell phone with a 2.5 megapixel camera back then and we'll take pictures of us together and we will have it be printed despite the low quality of the picture. I placed our pictures on my wallet and she posted those on the wall of her room. She even told me that it's her dream to fill her wall with our pictures and that made me cringe. We love talking about cute guys from candy magazines and we shudder and squeak to death with pillows covering our face, yes that's how "babaw" we were before.

I missed her so much, that I am really overjoyed when she came over here and spend a night with me. We took pictures efcerz. *tenen*

see, that's how vain we are.

We talked about how we're doing, our dreams, our frustrations, our love life, our God and all. And we're just amazed to realize that our shallow conversations way back in high school is not as shallow as they were before. We're grown ups now and continually growing. After all the talks we had and tears she shed, we came in silence and prayed together - the best thing that happened that night.

We slept at around 5am-ish.

to Crizzie May Palejo,

You really are a blessing to me. I will keep on praying for you, ALWAYS. Allow me to be your accountability partner. And Trust me when I say, everything we shared that night is exclusively for you, me and God only. You're now in Law school(you already!), make us proud. make your Father proud.

"Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise— “that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”"

I love you. shiiiiz <3 hehe.

Enough for that

dang dang dang. I always spend my time searching for something that I know would hurt me. I am fond of it. I always see fringe benefits from it, (because I love doing it) but the aftermath of it is just pffft i dunno, I just get more jealous, more insecure, and more.... uhm... and I need to izztap this 'cause it is NEVER healthy.

I hope you get me. you get my point, d'you? pffft.

a little something for myself

Make him miss you sometimes…when a man always know where you are, and you're
always readily available to him- he takes it for granted.

Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.
If something bothers you, speak up.

You cannot change a man’s behavior. Change comes from within.

'cause I am a woman

I know I'm sort of a biased here. but what the hey, you are blessed when your beau is like this.

*Cringe

To really love a woman
To understand her - you gotta know her deep inside
Hear every thought - see every dream
N' give her wings - if she wants to fly
Then when you find yourself lyin' helpless in her arms
You know you really love a woman

When you love a woman then tell her
that she's really wanted
When you love a woman then tell her that she's the one
'cause she needs somebody to tell her
that it's gonna last forever
So tell me have you ever really
- really really ever loved a woman?

To really love a woman
Let her hold you -
till you know how she needs to be touched
You've gotta breathe her - really taste her
Till you can feel her in your blood
N' when you can see your unborn children in her eyes
You know you really love a woman

When you love a woman
then tell her that she's really wanted
When you love a woman then tell her that she's the one
'cause she needs somebody to tell her
that you'll always be together
So tell me have you ever really -
really really ever loved a woman?

You got to give her some faith - hold her tight
A little tenderness - you gotta treat her right
She will be there for you, takin' good care of you
Ya really gotta love your woman...

Then when you find yourself lyin' helpless in her arms
You know you really love a woman
When you love a woman you tell her
that she's really wanted
When you love a woman you tell her that she's the one
she needs somebody to tell her
that it's gonna last forever
So tell me have you ever really
- really really ever loved a woman?

Just tell me have you ever really,
really, really, ever loved a woman? You got to tell me
Just tell me have you ever really,
really, really, ever loved a woman?

Love tank

If I ask you to spend TIME with me, that only means I love you. And if you REJECT it, whaddahey I am telling you, you are withdrawing something you invested (if you had invested something) from my love tank.



And it hurts me.

I choose to be...

Happy.

Happiness is a choice. I always hear this line a hundred times, no, a million times to exasperate it. I've heard it so many times by different people but I never allowed my ears to listen to it, I never allowed my eyes to read between its lines. I never posted it on my bulletin board. I never allowed my mouth to say it to myself, and worst, I never let my mind understand it. Yes, it really is easy to say it but it is hard to decide, I mean, I am indecisive and it's always an excuse for me. A couple of days ago, I had a conversation with one of the people whom I look up to. I said, after I take my Licensure exam, I will do what I want, find the Job I really really wanted and leave. I want to have new sets of people to please. and he responded me with and I quote, "go, but it's not that easy." And there you go. I chose to live and be drowned with my emotions. I feel like nobody's there for me and people always leave. I make decisions through my emotions, I decide by what I feel. I want to please people and if I can't please them, I get depressed. I cry often. Compared to a 4-year old child, I am too way sensitive, I am too way selfish. I am immature. I am a drama queen. And I hated myself for that. I am just sick and tired of it. No. I am really sick and tired of being sick and tired of it.

I must understand that my life now is not about betty-boops or barbie dolls. Another is change is really inevitable, it really intensifies while I age. I learned that LIFE IS TOUGH, it was never easy. I must get out of my cage and be happy. And when the dark side comes and entice me to be drowned in my emotions again, I am confident that I have confidence to say NO because I choose to be in the bright side. I will let things fall into its place because I know God planed to let it be.