Have you ever felt the feeling wherein anything you do seems so time consuming yet you still feel something lacks or not enough? These past days, I've been craving for something to do which is that, I do not know. I feel so mediocre. It seems like I use my time on things with no value. It is plain. And I don't feel any excitement like before. No "I-am-stoked-about-something" feeling and it is like burying your self alive in the bottomless pit where in you could not breathe. The feeling of no-other-people-around except me and my shadow is lingering through my nerves time to time now. I cry often. I think about how will I get out, stay away from these emotions. I am stressed out. I think by brain will just burst anytime.
I know I am empty. I am hungry. I am thirsty. To make it profound, I am emaciated. I virtually comprehend why I feel this way, I am just ignoring it. I am just refusing to filter it because of this ego inside me. And again Lord, you never fails to use Your rod for me that keeps on reminding me to stop being naive about Your works. I now understand why I feel this fatal situation, it is because I am not allowing God to rule again in me. I always focus myself on the mini-me that caused me to be blind about those greater things God has prepared ahead for me. My works were wretched because my hands are not working for Him and I am not considering the works of His hands. My thoughts seems so disturbed because my focus is merely on myself alone and not to Him. My emotions were breaking down because I am not letting Christ deal with it when He should be the one doing it. I know, it is clear. GOD wants me to say no to self consumption. To remove myself from my eye and FOCUS on my Savior alone.
I was clueless before but now I can comprehend better. Credits to my Master.
